So I figured I'd better update this thing, even though no one ever reads it. lol   My life is just as busy as can be right now. I'm constantly on the go. I have to be at work 3 times a week at 5:30 in the morning, and then I go to class every day from 8 until 12:30, and then I rush back to work until 6. Then studying until bedtime. Also trying to fit in a work out most days. And then the weekends usually consist of hanging out at the Sigma Chi house or anywhere else Ali and I can go to have fun. haha I also had bronchitis the past 3 weeks, but kept my schedule going. lol  My mom tells me that I probably got it because I'm doing too much and I'm burned out, and that's most likely true. But there's nothing I can cut out of my life to slow down at all, so I have to keep going like this.

     Plus, I'm afraid of slowing down. I'm afraid of what would happen if I just sat for a minute in silence. However, the silence isn't as deafening as the thoughts that consume me. Thoughts of how much I'm hurting, thoughts of *him*, and wondering if he is thinking about me too. Sometimes I wonder how many times he's going to run before I finally let him go. It's a really weird feeling to be the only one who still believes in us. The only one that believes in what we have, that looks past all the games and sees what's really there - a love so powerful that both of us are unsure if we can handle it. But he said I wasn't the only one. The other day he told me he wished more than anything that he could quit running, and then he asked me if we could call a "do-over". So we're starting completely over, and taking it slow, that way no one gets hurt. People say I'm an idiot for still holding on. But no one sees what I see. No one see the way he looks at me. That look gives me faith that he still loves me with everything he has. And I'll hold on until that look disappears.

*Sorry about the random post guys. I've just got a lot on my mind. If you stuck around for the whole thing, you truly are amazing and I love you.

Always: Me

I am SOOOO happy right now. I just want to shout from the rooftops. And I can't tell people why.....

(Well, of course except for you, Kyls. You never apply to that rule. lol )

*Me: I'm so happy right now. I just can't stop smiling.

*Eryn: I can tell you are. That sparkle in your eye that's been missing is back.

     WoW...so pretty sure this weekend was interesting. lol  Ali and I didn't stop going until last night. Let's see-

Friday: Got off work at 5:30, and then went to Opry Mills with Ali. Pretty sure we got lost on the way there. We get lost going *everywhere*!!! lol But we finally made it, and shopped for a few hours. Then we came home and got ready for the Sigma Nu beach bash and headed to that. It was a blast! Then I took Ali home cause she had work the next morning, and I hung out at the Sigma Chi house for a few hours. Then I came home and went to bed.

Saturday: Slept for a *really* long time, and then went to the mall to pick up my new jeans from Buckle. Then I picked up Ali, and we went to Applebee's to eat. After that, Ali, Meg, and I went to the Sigma Chi house to help Clint paint his room. Well pretty sure we got into a huge paint fight and we were all covered in light blue paint. So we went home and showered, and then went to Steak and Shake! *yum*  Then we went *back* to the Sigma Chi house and hung out with the guys. Pretty sure I got in a huge political debate with Justin Lane, where I ended up in tears. Well, he felt really bad, and we worked it out. And we sealed the apology with a slow-dance under the stars and a marriage proposal. lol  Ali and I finally went home at like, 6, and that was the end of that night.

Sunday: After only 2 hours of sleep I got up and went to church. Found out one of my best friends was in a car accident and he didn't call and tell me, so I was kind of upset. But he's gotten too busy for me ever since he started dating some new girl that's not very nice to me, but that's okay. Anyways...after church I came home and took a nap, and then I went to Ali's apartment after she got off work. We hung out there for a while, and then we went over to this guy Jason's house who we met on Friday to hang out. While we were there, Jason proceeded to ask me out. lol Random, I know. I *love* being single!

Monday: Laura from work woke me up and invited me to lunch, and I was really excited!  We went to Toot's, and ended up talking for like, an hour and a half. It was awesome. Then I came home and took another nap (lol), and then I met Ali and we went to watch Laguna Beach, but the VCR broke, and it didn't tape.  So I just ended up coming home and going to bed.

Ha-extremely awesome weekend! I love weekends like this! Anyways...have a great week!